The mouths of babes
TheBoy has a friend who brings out the worst in him, and I'm baffled at how to respond.
He's a sweet kid, this friend, a little older and a little wilder but cute and kind and generous at heart. Yet anytime TheBoy plays with him, our darling little preschooler who likes to paint his toenails and cuddle up with No Kitty starts talking about shooting people, starts pushing and hitting, starts whining and screaming.
A true story: We took TheBoy and this friend to our local children's museum this week. It's your typical layout: A pit full of tiny bits of recycled tires for digging, a grocery store complete with ringing cash registers, grocery carts and hundreds of plastic food items, a kid-sized nursery with several baby dolls and a kid-sized pirate ship looming down over everything else.
The boys had a good time in the dig pit. They wandered around the nursery like happy little lambs. So it was a bit of a shock when, suddenly, TheFriend ran from the nursery to the pirate ship with two baby dolls tucked in his arms. He was yelling something:
"Let's kill the babies!"
Next thing you know, the kids are up in the pirate ship, launching dolls at passers by below. When I finally dragged them out of the place, I noticed dismembered babies at every exhibit: The dig pit, the nursery, the pirate ship, the grocery store. My darling boy is a serial killer.
We love this kid's parents. We also like the kid, or at least we do when he's not doing things such as disdaining Candy Land as "a girl's game," or telling TheBoy he can be "SpiderGirl," or plotting his next round of faux infanticide. What's a responsible, peace-loving, gender-role eschewing parent to do? Can a 4-year-old really be a bad influence? Even more troubling: What if my kid is the one doing the influencing?
posted by AnnaRay at 10:39 PM
7 Comments:
This is a true story:
I have two friends Kate and Karen who have tow boys the same age, Carter (Kate's son) and JD(Karen's son.) Both boys have been in the same class for three years. The boys are very competetive and Carter brings out the worst in JD. Both Moms get along great and are close friends. Karen had a long heart to heart with Kate and now Kate realizes Carter's influence on JD and they rarely have playdates anymore. The mom's still talk regularly. When the boys do play together things are better. First, they have a lot of supervision. Second, they are not in the same class anymore.
I think that some kids personalities just don't mesch in productive ways. Maybe they can be taught to play better? Karen really likes Carter a lot and Kate undestood this about Karen and she was not attacking her son. Kate was big enough to hear constructive critism about her son. In the end this situation turned out well. Is there a way you can talk to this boys mother? I know you don't want to insult the Mom. Karen worked in humman resources before she left to become a mom and approached the situation like two colleages not getting along and trying to make it work.
So, you wacky left-coasters have decided that killing babies is wrong or something?
I find it hard to believe that you have a junior Lt. Calley on your hands. Is it possible that The Boy is trolling you? Maybe he has decided that warlike behavior generates entertaining reactions in Mommy and Ima. Lord knows that's the kind of thing I would have done at his age (certain persons I am married to would say, even at my current age).
I know little of parenthood, but I remember of childhood that I was always struggling to differentiate myself from my parents and my general milieu. I bet a little baby-killing goes a long way in Portland.
OK, heres my two cents:
When you get two males together, its a game of horse.
When you get 10 males together its a squad. Thirty? A Platoon. 150 is a company, six companies make a Battalion, Five battalions make a Brigade and two or three Brigades are a Division. Two to five Divisions make a Corps and when two or so of those are combined you have an Army. I think history shows us that getting boys together will not serve the future of humankind. These two boys are, at least, normal in every way. And that does not make the museum safe for babies. I say we put the women in charge!
This is why I can't imagine the responsibility of parenthood.
Sounds like the other kid needs a licking or two, to put an old-fashioned spin on things, but I know I am rarely considered P.C.
Is this your non-confrontational way of speaking to the parents of the other boy?
Pig
P.S. Less than 2 weeks to a steak.
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