Prozac nation
My doctor offered me a prescription for Zoloft yesterday. Not a big one and not in a big dosage. Just enough to get me over the hump I seem to have hit between being giddy about the new addition and being giddy about the new addition with the occasional bout of weepiness thrown in.
I responded, of course, by bursting into tears.
My body chemistry is clearly messed up. Even now, comparatively well rested after a cumulative five and a half hours of sleep last night and very happy to be sitting in my quiet house reading the paper and watching the kid sleep happily in her swing, I can feel the tears coming. It's not so much that I'm unhappy. I'm just ... off. Like my gears aren't shifting properly.
I said no to the drugs, by the way, at least for now. I'm thinking that with a little more rest, a little more time getting comfortable with the feedings and a little more effort to engage with the world -- tomorrow, for example, the kid and I will celebrate the fact that I've lost 21 pounds in the past two weeks by going out for a bagel -- this will end and I'll be back to my happy, cynical, cranky, usually tear-free self.
And if not, there's always the Zoloft.
posted by AnnaRay at 11:27 AM
11 Comments:
Hang in there. I cannot believe you have lost 21 lbs!!! My friend said that when her baby was born she was fully expecting it to weigh 45 pounds and she was disappointed that it weighed only 6. I guess a lot of it is "ooky stuff" and baby and water weight.
..and yes, Tom Cruise IS nuts. I hear that post-natal stuff is serious business.
I would have gone for the drugs, although how does it affect the baby?
According to the midwives, it doesn't.
I had long bouts of total weepiness for several weeks after S was born. They gradually tapered out. I viewed it in hindsight as helping get rid of the excess water I was retaining. Hang in there... crying is totally okay. In fact, in a few weeks we can call each other and weep over the phone! xoxoxoxo
Mmmm, bagel.
Oh and about Tom Cruise -- I saw on the TV that he and Brooke Shields became friends after she called him on his reckless opinionating about depression.
I hope you are feeling better today, Miss Anna.
I'm a little late to this party, and now I have to say my congratulations under the Zoloft post, which is a little weird: You're bursting into tears all the time! Yay!!! Congratulations!!
But really, crying jags or no, I am so incredibly happy for you and so amazed and in awe of you and your wonderful family. Just thinking of the four of you being all safe and happy (interspersed with weepy) in Portland makes me feel happy.
Remember, as the wise Dolly Parton said in Steel Magnolias, "Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion." Hope you have lots of that. (Note: Whatever you do, DO NOT WATCH Steel Magnolias in your condition. I cannot be held responsible for any crying jags that result if this advice is not followed.)
Sorry, tangent. Congratulations and I hope you feel all the joy and happiness you deserve, which is a lot.
Tangents like that are acceptable. More tangents!
Perhaps I should make a list of movies I cannot watch in my present condition: Steel Magnolias, Terms of Endearment, the most recent Star Wars movies ...
...Where the Red Fern Grows, Old Yeller, the Yearling, the Wizard of Oz, the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe...Do yourself a favor and watch Office Space. I watched the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe and I sobbed like an idiot for 2 hours in the time after they killed Aslan. My husband thought I was having a psychotic break. I think I would need a Zoloft drip with a little Percoset if I were to see something like Black Beauty right now.
Be warned - I hear that the new Bond is a tear-jerker. (?!)
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