Rejoining the workforce
So, which is more dangerous: picking up a hitchhiker or biking to work in a thong?Anyhoo, I started my new job last week. I have colleagues now, and when they ask me questions, I know the answer, unlike at home where I'm faced with a barrage of "Why?" this and "Why?" that every time the Boy exhales. It's nice to feel relevant again.
The schedule is a bit of a challenge. I work ten hours a week over three days, which is just enough time to get next to nothing done at the office and arrive late to pick up The Boy at school. I'm also working on a little freelance video project this summer (that I talked my way into before I knew I had successfully talked my way into the part-time position,) so there's that much less time in my day to get things done around the house. The hardest part, though, is not the juggling so much as the awkwardness I feel when I explain I have to schedule my work around my child rearing.
The people I work with are most understanding. This is Portland, after all, where folks seem to have their priorities in place and value having a life as much as - if not more than - having a career. Still, there's something unseemly to me about bringing up my parental duties at work. As if that makes me less qualified to join the work force. As if the work place is no place for a mother.
I'm not sure where I get that idea. Like I said, no one is giving me a hard time at work. Maybe I just don't like making excuses, however legitimate they may be. (Floyd Landis doesn't make excuses, and look what he just did on a degenerated hip.) Or maybe it's an East Coast attitude I cannot shake. I was talking to a friend in DC who has a 3-month-old and is constantly asked not whether she's returning to work but when.
Being able to balance work and family is essential not only for a happy individual, but also for a healthy society. Yet it's not something we do well in this country. The fact that employers rarely offer paid maternity leave or flex schedules means most women must put their kids in day care to return to work, then they're demonized for doing so. Yet here I've realized my ideal of meaningful part-time work that allows me to stay at home with the kid for most of the day, and I can't seem to shake the feeling that I'm doing it all wrong.
At what point do we stop feeling like we don't deserve what we know is best for us?
posted by judybat at 2:45 PM
6 Comments:
I think some of this is a double-whammy on women. If you were a stay-at-home-dad you'd get all kinds of props and no shame from society, I think. Michael has always had people think he's waaaaay cooler for being at home just as much as I have been. But then again, he got way more props for walking down the street with S in a bjorn. Whatev. Enjoy the new job and enough with the guilt! Emancipate yourself from mental slavery-- none but ourselves can free our minds! :D
O.K., so you are tense and anxious without a job and guilty with a job. Just enjoy the time you have outside the house with grown ups and stop complaining you are lucky you have both. You'll enjoy Griffin more with the job.
i think l-n touched on this: It seems like both problems are good ones to have. So enjoy!
I'm not complaining about anything other than my own mental shortcomings which interfere with my ability to enjoy my fantastic life.
I am SO looking forward to vacationing with you three! Sortcomings...Phooey!
You can't lose here. You have a nice job in what seems like a relative utopia, a woman who loves you, a cute little boy and another baby on the way. You get to go to work and be mentally stimulated bayond "why?" and you still get to come home (not after a 16 hour work day) early enough to still enjoy it some. As for the man staying home thing, there is a division along that line on the East Coast. One group would say that is wonderful, blah blah blah, and one group would say lots of bad things blah blah blah, they will never have any money for retirement...My husband is not the type to stay home. He would perish. I, on the other hand, would love to stay home for a few years, as long as I have someting besides sandbox conversations. There is a certain amount of scorn that would be heaped on me from certain people for "abandoning" my career and "just" staying home. I love my job, but my children trump my job, and I don't even have any, which is why I have the time to write long-ass comments on your blog. Any way you slice it: you stay home, she stays home, y'all get a nanny, everybody says home, sending the children to boarding school at a really early age, you are going to get criticized (I think I just violated colon usage). I believe that you should just do whatever you think is best and ignore anyone who tells you that you are wrong, unless they are protesting something really wrong, like leaving the kids alone and with the liquor cabinet for the weekend. Ahhggghh! This issue sure brings the crazy!
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