Rebuttal
It must suck to live in a world in which everyone you meet is a potential Shropshire Slasher. How can you stand it? If you had a less jaundiced view, you might see that some people are worth talking to, even if it means you have to trust them as far as the next exit. Like that nice French couple we picked up in Yosemite - remember? They were spending a year hiking through the Sierra Nevada with their 1-year-old and needed a ride back to their llamas, which they had tied up outside the park because you're not allowed to bring live stock in. Sure they were a little bit smelly, (did I mention they were French?) and maybe even a little crazy, (did I mention they were spending a year hiking through the mountains with a 1-year-old and two llamas?) but they were also very interesting, grateful and certainly not dangerous.
You get a sense for these things. I have stopped to pick up a handful of people in the last 20 years, and driven past many, many more. I do not pick people on random stretches of highway, for example, because it's harder to judge where these people are coming from and what their intentions are. The only time I picked up a lone, male hitchhiker was on the way to a ski slope, and he was carrying a snowboard. When I saw the young (and not smelly) woman the other day, I was driving through suburban Portland - hardly a hotbed for carjacking - and I asked where she was going. She told me the highway she needed to get to (ten minutes from where we were and on my way) so she could hitch a ride out to the coast. I'm not saying there were no unknowns. But life is risky, and I will not live in fear.
I'm sure this attitude will terrify people like my dad, but my dad hasn't gotten on a plane since 9/11 because he thinks flying is too dangerous. My dad's philosophy is Trust No One. I can't live like that.
I've had to trust a lot of people in my life, in ways big and small, and while I can't say I've never been burned, I've never come close to losing life or limb or livelihood. I ask questions. I weigh my options. I do not throw caution to the wind. You can walk around thinking every encounter is a chance to get screwed or a chance to learn; I chose the latter. Of course, sometimes they're one and the same, but in my 37 years of approaching life with an open mind and an open heart - and my eyes wide open - I've gained much more than I've lost.
The nice, young, pleasant-smelling woman told me she's been hitchhiking for 10 years. She's traveled all over the country - passing up some rides here and there, judging them unsafe - and has never had a problem. She said she finally got a car about three months ago, but her license was suspended. She said she hopes to get it back soon and vows to be more careful when she does.
Sometimes the risky road is the safest.
posted by judybat at 4:36 PM
7 Comments:
Now that I'm probably not too many years away from being a parent myself, I think a lot about how having a child would affect what level of risk I'd take. It's easy to say, "Well, just don't take any risks that have little benefit"--such as picking up a hitchhiker, no matter how harmless she may seem. But that just shifts the argument onto what constitutes a benefit.
I have learned a lot from M about the benefits of engaging other people, even strangers. My attitude towards people is more like AR's than JB's (i.e., they suck until proven non-sucking), but I am moved to the core whenever I think about how M spent three weeks in Laos, making fast friends using a smile and a Lao phrasebook.
I can't think of a greater gift I can give my child than to teach him or her, by example, to treat strangers with wisely measured compassion.
My pediatrician was killed by a man he saw limping along the road. Being a kind person, he pulled over to try to help the man. The man shot him and both of his sons. One boy survived. Maybe that was just a terrible instance, but that was all I needed to teach me never to pick up anyone-man or woman-from the side of the road. Sorry, but I side with your dad (in theory, since he has yet to voice an opinion on this here). Call me jaded...
Sorry to Pig, he DID post. I was raised to look over my shoulder and all around me all the time, and doing that is probably sad on some level. However, it has kept me from doing some things I may have otherwise regretted.
Whereas I find myself hardpressed to think of a situation where picking up the hitchiker is acceptable to a point where I would not mind my darlin doin' it in my absence, and whereas I totally get the whole danger issue, I can't help but think of the fact that I have found myself alone and waiting for help in a snowstorm at 11PM before, driving back to college and 3miles from a service station. I know what it is to ski off course and have to hike with gear back to the lodge.
The fact of the matter is that the same people who wax poetic of simpler times when this very activity was acceptable were in as much danger as my lovely bat was when this hapened. The argument that there are more crazy people now than way back when is ignorant. No more ignorant than putting you're faith in the goodness of a stranger based on their looks, however.
Perhaps the point then is this: everyone is right, and everyone is wrong. Yes, the parent needs to remember that their children are dependent on them, but what as well can't be forgotten, is the lessons our children are taught when we react first to fear.
Although this is uncharacteristically optimistic of me, I'm going to go with you on this one, Judybat. I just feel like every day (particularly in New York, perhaps) there are chances for danger. I'm working without statistics, but, percentage-wise, I suspect that far more people are harmed, say, going to the corner deli in the evening or walking into a Denny's or driving down the highway than are harmed by crazy hitchhikers. And I like talking to strangers. They're fun. If I didn't have crazy cabbies to talk to, I could see substituting hitchhikers!
I support you 100%. If you lacked the judgement to make such a mundane call you would be dead already. I prefer to look at these opportunities not as chances to learn, nor as chances to get screwed, but rather as chances to screw Republicans. This climate of fear is unacceptable. If picking up a hitch-hiker empowers you, then it empowers me. And to think, you lived to tell the tale.
Did I forget to mention that I ride a motorcycle without a helmet? Yup, sure do, and it feels great! I'm betting that my risk is bigger than yours and that picking up a hitchhiker suddenly looks a bit milquetoast by comparison.
I'm thinking I need to pick up a hitchiker on the bike without a helmet. This will take the heat off you. I'll let you know when the deed is done, but I'll bet the hitchiker tells me to f**K off.
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