My current dilemma

Walking the couple blocks to the bus stop with The Boy on my shoulders to meet Mommy on her way home from work the other day, it occurred to me that we'd be crazy to leave here.

The sun has started poking its head out on a regular basis, and so too have the neighbors. I can't walk ten feet without having a conversation starting with, "Oh, it's good to see you again!" As if we've all been away, when in fact we've just been inside. The sidewalks are festooned with elaborate chalk drawings, some of which direct your attention to - I kid you not - lemonade stands. Every tree and shrub and bulb-strewn patch of dirt is awake with blooms, and I too feel like I've waken from a long winter's nap. I didn't remember we had so many friendly faces in the neighborhood. I had forgotten about all these flowers.

A new family moved in two doors down from us, and now The Boy now has three little buddies his own age to play with on his own street. That doesn't count the kids who live down the block and around the corner. There are countless parks for us to ride our bikes to, trails to hike, museums to visit, great restaurants we have yet to try. There are the mountains and the beaches, art festivals, farmers markets, outdoor concerts. What's missing?

Well, for one thing, a good job opportunity for me.

There's work here for me. I'm still hoping to get more teaching gigs, and I'm looking into doing some wedding photography, and I've been talking to the newspaper about doing contract work for them. I can keep busy and earn some cash. But the kind of job I'm looking for - the kind of job I left behind in North Carolina and have since realized is probably what I'm best suited for and suits me best - does not exist here.

There is opportunity for me elsewhere, most notably on the East Coast, which also happens to be closer to my folks. But say we moved to New York, where I could feel fulfilled professionally. I could see family and old friends more easily, but every other part of our life would be more difficult. There would be traffic (no more commuting on bikes) and long hours (goodbye Northwest work ethic) and everything would be more expensive.

My problem is that I feel the need for professional accomplishment to justify my existence. If a magical elf appeared on my shelf and said he could get me the job I want at The New York Times or grant me contentment with the life I have right now, I'm not sure which I would chose.

Perhaps it would depend on whether or not the sun was shining.