He could have danced all night

This weekend, Judybat and I on what is likely the beginning of the rest of our life: Watching small children sing/dance/perform badly.

TheBoy had, for lack of a better term, a dance recital. Here's how the program explained it: "Dance is a natural way for children to learn about their world and express their ideas, thoughts and feelings. Through dance, young children may develop a greater awareness of and control over different ways of moving and use actions expressively to convey a special meaning."

That sounds great. Of course, what actually happened look a lot more like young children developing a greater awareness of their own ability to cause absolute chaos.

It was adorable, and I laughed so hard, I cried.

A few highlights:

What the program told us: "3. Wenna's group will dance for all of us the song 'Ilary lary eh.' This song is from Brazil and it was very popular among young children during 1988-1989."
What actually happened: Six two-year-olds toddled out on stage, holding pom-poms. Three immediately began shrieking and sobbing. One ran off to play. One stood absolutely still. One stomped up and down to the music with wild abandon. It's amazing that even this early, you can tell who the natural performers are.

What the program told us: "4. The girls from Uzi's and Eliette's group will dance 'Come fly with me.'"
What actually happened: A group of five-year-old girls scampered out in cute princess dresses and fake wings. They proceeded to run in circles around the stage, flapping their arms -- none in time with the music or each other. Awesome.

What the program said: "'Spiderman' song is only danced by the boys from Uzi's and Eliette's group."
What actually happened: Eight boys, ages 5 and 6, ran out in various versions of a Spiderman costume. (My favorite was the little boy in a dress shirt and tie -- and a Spiderman mask.) They proceeded to breakdance their way through the Spiderman theme song. Imagine a small child in a Spiderman suit doing the robot. I kid you not.

What the program said: "'I Like to Move It' is a song all our children seem to enjoy."
What actually happened: Mass confusion as every child in the place who wasn't traumatized by the experience to the point of uncontrollable weeping (so, say, maybe half) came out on stage to dance. They all danced different moves, to seemingly different music. As a sidenote, I have to say that I now have that song burned into my brain, and for some reason I keep having middle school flashbacks. I like to move it, move it. I like to move it, move it. I like to move it. Move it!

You're probably wondering how TheBoy did when his turn came. Thankfully, he found a nice middle ground. He didn't immediately break into tears. Nor did he actually do anything resembling dancing. Rather, there was a lot of standing around, with the occasional break to go chat with Judybat. She would nudge him back on stage, and he would reluctantly trudge back out, only to stand there some more.

I have seen my future, and it comes with a really lousy soundtrack. But it makes for great home videos.