Shredding, or not
Judybat and I celebrated our 12th anniversary (this past Sunday) and Judybat's birthday (next Sunday) by dumping TheBoy and heading to Mount Hood for a day of snowboarding.Or rather, Judybat went for a day of snowboarding. As the bruises on my knees, elbows and rear end suggest, I went for a day falling down like an uncoordinated imbecile.
It's galling, how much I suck at this. Back in high school, I played three sports and was agile if not exactly graceful. Today, I ride my bike to and from work, I take the family on the occasional hike, and I secretly practice my golf swing in the basement when nobody is looking. But the basics of snowboarding escape me.
It's not that I don't enjoy the activity. If I can manage to make it down the hill, jerking this way and that, usually standing straight up on the board in fright, I have the same little rush of excitement -- "Oh, movement!" and "Mountains! Pretty." -- that seems to draw all this funky looking people in their oddly colored pants.
What's really aggravating, I guess, is that Judybat is so much better, and so quickly. The instructor explains something, and she immediately seems to get it. She glides down the hill like a curly-headed butterfly. She weaves. She flies. Meanwhile, I'm transported back to AP Calculus. I'm hearing the words, but they sound a lot like Latin.
I'm sure my size is part of the problem. Even on a little snowboard, it's a looong way down from where I'm standing/crouching. And snowboarding seems to be all about gradual movement -- "Shift your weight slightly," and, "Bend your knees, slowly." There's really nothing gradual in the way I move. As, after 12 years, Judybat knows all too well.
And yet she loves me anyway.
posted by AnnaRay at 9:17 PM
7 Comments:
Gymnastics comes to mind. That, too, was a painful experience. I bet Judybat was great at gymnastics also, but could she slam a ball in the opponent's face at the volleyball net? Could she shoot over the heads of basketball guards? Petite people operate better close to the ground. It's a different skill.
Shockingly similarly, J finally talked me into going skiing while up in the Berkshires a few weeks ago, me saying things like "I went skiing once when I was ten - I'm up for it!" not knowing that he skiied every weekend his whole Pennsylvania childhood and adolescence. So while I snowplowed and sidestepped and even took the stupid things off and walked my way to the bottom of the "easy" slopes, he itched for the double black diamonds. And I'm both short and did coordinated things like ballet as a child, so I have no excuse at all.
I have vowed to make him ice skate at some point!
P.S. Happy happy anniversary!!!
LJ- get rid of the skis and hop on a board! Shredding rocks, and it's much easier to learn than skiing.
And AR didn't suck nearly as much as she lets on. I think that was just her excuse to go back in the lodge early to read by herself and eat french fries.
At the risk of offending Judybat, I have a simple explanation: low center of gravity.
I've always thought it odd that men walk around with their center of gravity in their chests, unlike women, who are well grounded with a center of gravity in their hips. How do you not topple over with every step?
Yes, my center of gravity is quite low, (and broad for that matter,) but that did stop me from falling ass over backwards down the slopes all morning until I got the hang of it. Fun!
I dunno - somehow I fear binding both my feet basically together to travel at very high speeds. When it comes right down to it, I think I basically fear very high speeds. The board might be worth a shot though - as Eddie Izzard says, you look really cool doing it just about no matter what you do!
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