I'd rather be boarding

Why do I always sound like such a wet rag in AR's posts? Truth be told, I kind of feel like a wet rag. I think it's all the toddler music classes and 3-year-old birthday parties I've been attending - events which AR has managed to avoid thus far. I think I've become a housewife.

I love spending time with The Boy. He's a delight, and it's fun to watch him play and learn and grow. But being 3, he's also in need of constant supervision and someone to wipe his ass. I'm beginning to lose my mind. Six months ago, I felt like I could do this stay-at-home thing for awhile no problem, as long as I knew I could step back into my career in a year or two. I felt if I could just get over the job uncertainty and stop worrying about the declining likelihood of ever finding meaningful work again, I'd be having a great time with The Boy, taking him to museums and the zoo, for bike rides, to the park and on playdates. But when the highlight of my week was taking him to get a haircut, and I find myself looking forward to his first dentist appointment because it means we have something to do and I don't have to plan an activity, it's time to get serious about getting a job.

Before I came out to my mom, she used to say this about being gay: I don't think there's anything wrong with it, as long as it's not my child. Totally un-PC, I know, and yet that's how I feel about staying at home: I don't think there's anything wrong with it, as long as it's not me who's doing it. (My mom, by the way, was totally accepting of me and AR when I finally did come out to her, even though I know she struggled with it silently. My mom rocks.)

Truth be told, I'd rather be shredding. All I want to do is go up to the mountain and carve turns in the snow. Is that wrong? AR thinks I might be depressed.