Don't spend it all in one place
I'm collecting panhandler stories. There was, for example, the time that a slightly deranged looking woman approached Judybat for change as she was lunching outside one lovely spring day in Raleigh.
My well-meaning but deluded spouse likes to give people something -- food, usually, or a chance to mow our yard, or perhaps an old New Yorker -- and hadn't eaten two slices of fancy sunflower seed bread that came with her salad. She told the panhandler that she didn't have any change, but happily offered up her bread. The woman picked up one piece, gave it a good hard loo up and down, and put it back on JB's plate.
"Sorry," she said. "I don't like that kind."
Repeat after me: Beggars really can be choosers.
Today's story: I was waiting downtown for a bus when a young man made his way through the crowd at my stop. He was holding, and clearly eating, a Big Mac. He cradled a large container of McDonald's fries in one arm. In the other, he held an extra large soda. He wondered if anybody had any spare change so he could catch a bus home.
Like the rest of the group, I gave that silent shake of the head that is ultra-polite Portland's answer to such behavior. But now, I wish I'd spoken out. Like, "Um, dude, why didn't you think of that before you ordered that Value Meal?" Or, "Don't they have a 99-cent menu at Mickey D's?" Or perhaps, "Didn't your mother tell you that it isn't a good idea to beg on a full stomach?"
Sheesh.
(P.S. Spellcheck wants to turn, 'Sheesh,' into 'Sheik.' I'm sure that's not a political statement or anything.)
posted by AnnaRay at 8:54 PM
9 Comments:
Hey, have you yet heard of the book "To Hate this Much is to be Happy Forever" about the UNC/Duke basketball rivalry? A took a long skim at the bookstore today. Much fun.
Do you remember that Johnny guy in Raleigh? The panhandler immortalized by Lisa Pollak? Radio stations used to interview him.
On an Athenian note, I once gave a 5-year-old Roma girl here a slice of pizza instead of money because she seemed much more interested in it than my drachmas (this was pre-euro days). She sat in the booth with me and told me she had spent the morning selling wilted roses, but had accidentally dropped them and now was trying to make up the difference. I gave her my change again but she said no, but could she have another slice of pizza? Sure. She took the slice, wrapped it in lots of paper napkins, waved bye-bye and left....
PHIL: "To Hate..." is by Will Blythe. Sports Illustrated has run a couple of excerpts, which I loved, even though I went to college in Minnesota.
Once, when I was in Oviedo with an erstwhile boyfriend, there was a homeless woman four floors below. She looked pretty weak and pitiful, and my boyfriend went down to give her some of our backpacker-type food. I think he actually made a sandwich out of beans and cheese. Don't ask. He took it down, good Boyscout that he was, and she snarfed it down. It gave her the strength so sing all night, keeping the whole block awake. Who knew she had such pipes? I was so irritated.
It's weird, Phil, but the second Duke game of the season never fills me with the same passionate hatred as the first. Maybe it's because the ACC tournament is right around the corner, but it always feels like all we're really playing for is a week's worth of bragging rights.
Of course, Duke still sucks.
I get seriously annoyed with beggars who turn down food. Two weekends ago while in San Francisco, 3 different pan-handlers turned down food while asking me for change. The way i figure it, even if you are looking for cash, you need to eat at some point and you might as well take my food so you don't have to buy that damned BigMac.
We interupt this thread to bring you this announcement: Tarheels won. Duke sucks.
Ahem. Tar Heels. Two words. Tar Heels. As in, 'Tar Heels Win, Duke Loses.' As in, 'Tar Heels Make J.J. Redick Cry On Senior Night.'
But I'll forgive the grammatical error in this joyous moment.
this is clearly a point of aggravation for you.
allow me to restate:
HEELSWONDUKESUCKS.
Duke sucks.
In bum-related news, a guy in Raleigh asked me for money to buy while drinking a large beer. For once, I had the presence of mind to say he should have saved his beer money to buy food. To his credit, he agreed and asked if he could try his question again.
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