Life in the fast lane

1. The Boy likes to be sung a lullabye before going to bed. The song he requests every night: Yankee Doodle.

2. The Boy was standing in front of the toilet trying to pee and said to me, "It's not coming. It's getting something to eat."

3. The Boy and I were watching the otters at the zoo today, and I said, "Look! See how it eats floating on it's back!" Then I realized the pink thing the otter had in its paws and was stuffing into its mouth was not food; he was giving himself a blow job.