Life with child, part 45
The other night, before Judybat left town for a brief vacation in the land of adults, TheBoy offered us yet another interesting "Weird Parenting Moment, Especially for Two Lesbian Mommies."It was just after bedtime. He was whining and hollering and generally carrying on and calling for his Mommy and his Ima. When I went in to investigate, I found him sitting up in bed, with his hand on his crotch.
Me: "What's wrong, TheBoy?"
TheBoy: "My penis not working."
Me: "Huh?"
TB: "My penis not working."
Me: "Um, what do you mean by, 'not working?'"
TB: "Not getting bigger!"
This is, unfortunately, exactly what you might think it is. TheBoy has recently discovered that if you yank on your johnson, it, um, grows. He thinks this is great fun, just sitting around watching it get big and then shrink again. We're trying to convince him that such behavior is probably best done in private, certainly away from two Mommies who aren't sure whether to shriek in horror or giggle uncontrollably. Because, you know, he's TWO. Isn't this a little young for the beginning of his lifelong obsession with the thing down below?
I'm hoping nothing similar happens while the boss lady is away. I might freak out.
posted by AnnaRay at 5:28 PM
9 Comments:
wow. just wow.
One lady I know has 3 boys. She drinks a lot of wine. Yeah.
Not to be crude, but have you all researched all the how-to's and what-it-does of the male equipment? Sounds like he's going to have a lot of questions.
Not to worry: I learned quite a bit between the ages of 18 and 21.
It was just a phase.
For God's sake, whatever you do don't laugh in front of him. Turn away, shut the door, go outside, take a drive but don't laugh in his face. He will remember it. Forever. He's going to have a unique enough set of embarrassing teen moments, you don't want to scar him this early.
I suppose it might be wrong to tell him that he will go blind if he keeps doing that.
An update: Today, when TheBoy awoke from his afternoon nap, he was whining and holding his pants. He had, um, a teeny, tiny little Boy erection. And he was crying about it.
"Too big, Mommy! It too big!"
Ah, sweet, sweet innocence.
And people wonder why UU churches teach a sex-ed curriculum to kindergarten students.... There are developmentally-appropriate ways of talking with two year-olds about their bodies, and I trust the two of you to find them.
in peace,
Michael
Well, sweet Michael, we've managed so far not to run screaming out of the room when he whips it out. Barely managed, I must admit.
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