Back to work 2

Before I went out of town a couple weeks ago, I was feeling pretty good about the whole staying-home-with-the-kid thing. I had come to a certain peace about not working for the time being, and as The Boy grows more communicative and capable each day, spending time with him becomes more and more enjoyable. Also, he's in school three morning a week, which means I can go grocery shopping unencumbered, catch up on technical advances in my field for when I do get a job and make the occasional desperate run to The Gap.

Then I spent five days in Columbia, MO, talking photojournalism with other adults, going out to nice restaurants for leisurely dinners - and two glasses of wine - and generally not worrying about anyone other than myself. It was nice. Sure I missed The Wife and Boy with a visceral longing any time there was a lull in the conversation, but on the whole I had a darn good time.

When I got home, The Boy was taller and more talkative, causing my heart to crumble into tiny pieces - but in a good way. I couldn't get enough of feeling his little arms squeeze back when I hugged him. I was content to sit and stare him as he told me a story about something that happened five minutes ago, or read with his mommy, or played with his toys.

Then The Boy came down with the croup and had to stay home from school on Monday. And Tuesday. And Wednesday and Thursday. Actually, he doesn't go to school on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but he couldn't go out and play with his little buddies, which meant I didn't get to hang out with their moms. He had no one to turn to but me for distraction, and I had no one to turn to. AnnaRay worked late most of this week, and as I was trying very hard not to feel resentful, I kept thinking to myself, "I've got to get a job. I've got to get a job. I've got to get a job."

Unfortunately, it's not all up to me. First there has to be a job out there for which I am qualified, then there have to be people who want to hire me. I've made some inroads with the latter, which is interesting considering the lack of the former. Still, that puts me in a better position than if the situation were reversed. In fact, I will be teaching a photography class one day a week at a local community college starting in January. I don't really know what I'm doing, but that's never stopped me before. I'll still be spending most of my time in Boyland, but for a few hours every week I'll get to be an adult.