The way I see it

Item 1: I thought we started the blog because there were so many people out there who were fascinated by the whole two-chicks-having-a-baby thing, but were too shy to ask about it. (That and I think everyone should be subjected to what I have to say.) When I was pregnant, it always struck me as odd when a good friend would ask me questions on someone else's behalf about how I got knocked up. As if I had any qualms about telling anyone anything about the most intimate details of my private life. I was also surprised to learn that my pregnancy was the topic of water cooler conversations at work among people I didn't even know, (but who knew enough about me to know that I'm gay). As if the most intimate details of my private life were in any way interesting. I forget that to most people, whose reference point for everything gay is Will & Grace or The 700 Club, our family is a little, uh, different.

Item 2: Let's not disparrage those of us trying to get pregnant after the age of 30, because it turns out getting pregnant is against the odds at any age. (Unless, it seems, you are my sister.) Even if you're 18 years old and all your parts (and his) are in working order, and you're having sex at exactly the right time, you still only have a 1 in 5 chance of making a baby. That's what I learned way back when I was trying to get pregnant. Here is what I learned as we tried to get AR pregnant: Even if you give the sperm a ride past the cervix to the womb via catheter, (whatever length,) the tiny dudes still have to hike up the fallopian tubes to get to the egg. I guess I wasn't paying attention in sex ed, 'cause I always pictured them hanging out in the uterus until the egg made her grand entrance. Also, hanging out in the uterus wouldn't be what I pictured it, because, in spite of the fact that it's always drawn as a spacious-looking pear-shaped room, the uterus is more like a sticky sandwich, so says our doc. And If you think that's too much information, just wait till you get to the next paragraph.

Item 3: It's nice going through this a second time without having to actually go through it again. I already know what it feels like, and this time I don't have to take my clothes off. Also, I have not been compelled to think about it every second of every day for the two weeks it takes to get a positive or negative result on a pregnancy test. The first time I did the procedure, those two weeks lasted about two months, and I remember being hyper-attuned to the tiniest changes in my body. I don't eat steak, so there were no little tummy rumblings, but I was convinced my boobs were bigger. That, of course, was all in my head, and when I did get pregnant on the second time try around, I knew even before the little blue line showed up on the pee stick, because I was constipated for the first time in my life. I told you to watch out for this paragraph.