The grass is always greener ...

I've been meeting with some folks over the last couple weeks - a couple editors, a web site director - the kind of folks who could potentially give me a job. They don't actually have any openings right now, or even any filled positions for the type of work I do, so I guess it's a little odd that I called these people up out of the blue and asked to speak with them, but they were kind enough to meet with me anyway.

My timing couldn't have been better. The paper hasn't been doing much with their affiliated web site, but they want to do more online and have just started a big drive to figure out how to do that. Let me reitterate: they do not have a job for me. There is no job. But you can see how I might get a little excited about the prospect of getting a job with them.

Here how it all plays out in my head:

I have got to get a job. I love The Boy, but I have got to something with my brain that does not involve potty training, counting to twenty or figuring out what to cook for dinner. Preferably, something that pays well. But who will hire me? My skills are outdated and atrophied. I may never work again. What if I never work again? I have got to get a job. I am going to call these people right now and see what I can do about getting a job. These people are interested in what I have to say! I could be of some use to these people. They might actually hire me. I might get a job. But The Boy might not like going to school every day. And how will I get him there and still be able to bike to work? There won't be any time to cook dinner. Maybe I like my schedule now: The Boy and I hang out, go for a bike ride, play in a fountain; he takes a nap; I do a little writing. Maybe I don't want a job. Oh god, what if they offer me a job?!

This is where I start to think a lobotomy could actually prove theraputic. Do you think Blue Cross would cover it as treatment for being a complete spaz?

I don't think it will come to that. I had an excellent meeting at the newspaper, and while they didn't have a job for me, it looks like there may be an opportunity for me to do some contract work. All I have to do now is figure out how to get the work done during nap time.