AnnaRay says it's kismet.

I called our sperm bank of choice today to order the goods for our next trip down baby lane. I was feeling good about our choice of donor, because he's smart and healthy and athletic and artistic. Also, AR is the one getting pregnant this time, and this donor seems to be a lot like me in many ways both physical and mental.

The nice woman on the phone at the bank told me I had to fill out some paper work before I could order the sperm. I told her I hoped they wouldn't run out of vials from this donor while I was getting all the forms together, and she said they had a bunch from him. That made sense, I told her, because this guy is kind of short, and so I figured not very much in demand. She said the blue-eyed blonds go first, then the dark-haired ones with brown eyes kind of linger, and the blacks go last. Everyone wants the blonds, she said, and then they're surprised when their kid comes out with dark hair. That's funny, I told her, because I ordered dark-haired sperm the last time and was surprised that our kid came out with light-colored hair. Oh, she said, and asked if I knew the donor number so she could check and see if there were any more of his vials available.

I gave her the number, but I told her that when our son was three months old and we realized he was the best kid ever, I called the bank to see if we could get more of his donor's sperm for the next go around, and they told me they were all out. I was kind of disappointed at the time, but figured it was just as well, since when it came time for AR to get pregnant we'd probably want a donor who looked more like me.

Actually, said the woman on the phone, we have three of his vials left.

It turns out that when a donor retires from the program, the bank sets aside a certain number of his vials into their "sibling bank," because sometimes women decide years after they've had their first kid that they want another with the same donor. Only a woman who has had a child from a particular donor has access to that donor's sperm once it's in the sibling bank.

AnnaRay said, buy that sperm! Buy it now!

I'm ashamed to admit that I had reservations. I guess I'm a little more vain than I thought, because I was looking forward to having a kid who might look something like me. We chose tall, pale, straight-haired sperm when I was the one getting pregnant, because AR is tall and pale and has straight hair. Clearly we chose wisely, because so many people have said The Boy looks like her. I love that! But I felt a little left out at the thought of having two tall waspy-looking kids and no little curly-haired Jewish ones.

Fortunately, I got over that pretty quickly and got pretty psyched that The Boy's little brother or sister will also be his biological half sibling.

But wait! There are more complications.

The bank will only sell the donor sperm in the sibling bank to me, because I already gave birth to a child using the same donor sperm. But the bank will only ship the sperm to our fertility clinic of choice once we fax them an authorization form from my doctor saying the sperm is for my use only. (That was part of the paperwork I mentioned earlier.) The problem is, I don't have a doctor at the clinic, because I am not the patient. AR is the patient, and the sperm is for her use, not mine.

It seems like a lot of ridiculous beaurocratic semantics, but apparently they have good reason for making it this painfully complicated. As another woman at the bank told me, sometimes couples break up, and then they end up having a custody battle over little vials of frozen sperm. She said they've actually had lawyers come in and try to seize the vials. It's annoying when the stupidity of others makes my life more difficult.

The good news is, there's a way around this morass that will enable us to get the sperm we want for the uterus we want to plant it in. The solution involves some more forms and an extra $200, but I think it's worth it.