Pretty in pink
The Boy wants to wear pink. I don't have a problem with this. AnnaRay has a bit of a problem with this, but she's open to the color purple, which is a good thing, because we also hear this from him on a daily basis: "Purple shirt? Purple shirt? Want purple shirt. Purple shirt?"
Unfortunately, we don't have purple shirt for him, let alone any scrap of clothing with the merest trace of pink on it. This is partly due to the fact that almost everything he wears is a hand-me-down from his cousin, whose mother (my sister) made sure that everything her son wore came from the BOY pages of the stereotype catalogue. Don't get me wrong - I am grateful for every pair of navy blue sweatpants, every shirt with bats and balls, all the pajamas with trucks and trains. But our boy wants pink.
I know he's not alone. Yet in every store we go to the gender line is so strictly drawn that your preprogrammed brain guides you automatically to the pastel side of the aisle if you're XX shopping, or to the primary-colored side if you're shopping for an XY. In search of a purple shirt for The Boy, we had to cross the aisle - which turned out to be a huge psychological barrier. I found myself digging surreptitiously through the racks, glancing up every now and then to see if anyone was looking, until I realized that nobody in the store knew I was shopping for a son and not a daughter.
What's wrong with a boy wearing pink? And when did purple become off limits? The color Nazis have ways of making you turn back if you're daring enough to attempt crossing that color line: every pink and purple article I pulled of those racks had satin cupcake apliques or the word "PRETTY" written in rhinestones or lace and ribbons and unicorns - even if we did have a girl I think I'd still be shopping in the boys' department.
Why do we have to draw these distinctions at such an early age? I'm so sick of hearing "he's such a boy" when a little man climbs all over the furniture, or "that's a girl for you" when a wee woman likes to play dress-up. My friend Thomas, who's almost 6, and his not-so-little brother Henry like to wear tutus, and my 3-year-old niece climbs better than any boy (and some monkeys) I've ever known.
I recognize that there are biological differences between men and women; I don't believe that we are all the same. But the fact is there is more variance among men and among women than there is between the sexes, so why can't we just let kids be kids and let them wear whatever the hell they want? It's not like they won't figure out who's who when they hit the eighth grade.
posted by judybat at 10:19 AM
5 Comments:
I think The Boy is trying to tell you something...namely, that he is a closet geek.
All this just to buy a shirt? Didn't Ralph Lauren make pink ok for guys? Not this guy, but you know, in theory for neat, preppy guys. And what's wrong with cupcakes. I like cupcakes, does that make me more of a girl? Couldn't you have a shirt with a cupcake but with flames shooting off it or really big tires? That'd solve all your problems.
Tell The Boy that pink is SO 2004. Purple and aqua are in this year for guys, apparently.
;)
0Michael
From wikipedia: "Gender associations are constantly being renegotiated, as, for example, the color pink, considered masculine in the early 1900s, is now seen as feminine, and vice versa for blue. Gender is also evolving in this usage from noun to adjective: it is increasingly being seen as an attribute (like color) rather than as a distinct entity in itself." Maybe The Boy is just old fashioned? I seem to recall hearing about pink being masculine back in feudal Europe, too.
Hi dolls!
There's an easy solution to the problem: RIT dye. You can buy packs of dye in grocery stores. (Also a good thing to have on hand is RIT dye REMOVER, for those times when a red sock sneaks into the Whites wash and turns everything a murky mauve-y pink bleah. Catch the damage before the wash goes into the dryer and you can reverse the bleahification of your precious white wearables!)
Anyway, I'm not houseproud in the least, I'm just an art geek, and RIT dye is super-easy even for people who hate Marrrrthuh Stewrrrrt et al. Buy cotton (all cotton is best, synthetics react oddly to dye on occasion) tee in a slightly larger than normal size for The Boy, get bucket, add hot water (hence the slightly larger than normal tee size) and RIT dye (of desired hue) and tee to bucket, stir until desired colour is achieved, remove tee (preferably outside, unless you don't have floor coverings to worry about), let it drip itself dry-ish, then dry it in the dryer or on a line.
The Boy then gets all the fuschia, purple, aqua, orange, red, lime, or skybluepink tees / shorts / socks he desires.
Later, use the bucket as a spare mop bucket or give it to The Boy to play with in sandboxes or on trips to lakes or oceans, where he will busy himself for portions of an hour putting sand into the bucket and then removing it again. *grin*
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