Square one

So today I started looking for a job. I didn't pound the pavement or anything; I just called up some people at some colleges about some adjunct teaching positions. After a decade of working as a journalist and a lifetime of getting in people's faces, I don't really have a problem cold calling people, but I found myself getting all nervous. I had to do the following dance to work myself up to the task:

Pick up the phone; hang up the phone; take a deep breath and start again.
Misdial the phone; hang up the phone; take a deep breath and start again.

What's the problem here? I have skills! Marketable skills, even. But I still feel like I did my senior year of college when I wrote the following on a post-it note and stuck it to my Mac Plus computer screen:
- Call mom
- Buy tape
- Think about future

At the time I was overwhelmed by the thought of what to do with my life, because I knew that college had prepared me to do any job, but there wasn't any job I was qualified to do. Now I'm overwhelmed by the thought of what to do with my life, because I know there are lots of jobs I'm qualified to do, but I'm feeling less than able. How did that happen?! Is this what five months of unemployment does to a person?

Maybe it's not that I feel unable to do the work so much as I just don't want to work. Not that hard, anyway. Not that kind of I'm-starting-out-in-a-new-position-and-I've-got-to-show-them-what-I've-got kind of work, or the I've-just-started-out-in-a-new-position-and-I've-got-to-get-up-to-speed-on-all-the-new-technology-that's-come-out-since-I've-been-sitting-at-home-on-my-tuchus kind. I have this history of talking my way into positions that are way over my head and working said tuchus off to get to the point of competency of someone whom they might have hired had they been interested in paying for someone who was actually qualified for the job. It's a great way to be - underpaid, but never bored.

But I'm tired now. I'm ready to rest that tuchus on my laurels and get paid really well to do it. Forget about teaching - I hear Tyco needs a new CEO. What is it they do again?