It's a different world here
Here's everything you ever needed to know about Portland: This week, someone apologized to me for assuming I had a husband. A source and I were trading gripes about the difficulty of parking downtown, and I explained that my spouse was fighting my suggestion that we sell one of the cars.
"Oh," this random yet completely representative person said, "So your husband thinks you need two?"
Actually, I explained, my partner says SHE can see situations in which we would both need a vehicle. (Judybat, do I get sexy points for being so forthcoming?)
Back in the place we used to live, that kind of honesty would have been cause for a different kind of embarrasment than what my source was clearly feelilng. She apologized several times for assuming that I was straight -- the horror! the horror! -- and proceeded to tell me all about her ex-husband and her alcohol problem and a co-worker's alcohol problem and the current tension between her and her partner.
Partner. That's what people say here, regardless of whether they're talking about a man or a woman or whether they're gay or straight.(Actually, I take that back. I think straight people use the term more often than we inhabitants of Alternative Lifestyle Nation. It's a weird form of respectful overcompensation for all the ways society keeps us homersexuals down. Which is nice. But also really, really confusing. So if there are any nice straight people out there in Portland listening, feel free to call your husband your husband or your boyfriend your boyfriend. I won't mind. And I'll know what the heck you're talking about. )
On a totally different, entirely more disgusting and yet oh-so exciting topic: The Boy has begun peeing AND pooping in the potty. He'll be leaving for college next week.
posted by AnnaRay at 10:17 AM
6 Comments:
In the potty! Woo hoo! You go Little G!
Last night I dreamed that I was babysitting an infant boy for whom I had so much love it could not be described. It was a lovely dream. The boy was a delight to hug.
Brown? No, you want him to be President, right? You can't go to Brown and be the Big Chief. So start making your reservations in New Haven...
Brown? I just assumed that The Boy was already being indoctrinated into the ways of the Tar Heel.
I find "partner" very useful, as a heterosexual male. It does not do to over-employ "girlfriend" (which my current.. partner finds a bit jejeune). It also dodges the cloy of "sweetheart," "beloved," or "snuggle penguin" which, while accurate, may cause the unwary to become violently ill or go into diabetic shock and are way too personal to use when talking to, say, hoteliers, or shop clerks.
Newman and Nora: I like to think the success of our mixed marriage is proof that state school kids and Ivy Leaguers can live together in perfect harmony, just as Paul and Stevie promised. But unless the boy turns into the next MJ (or the next Mia Hamm), I'd rather he go to the better of our two alma maters.
jan: I take it all back. You and your snookiepiepuddlemuffin can call each other whatever you want. Better we be confused than nauseated.
phil: What do you think that dream really means?
He gets stickers when he goes. And he won't let us take the stickers off. So now, in addition to the normal baby grime, we've got an increasingly nasty set of Finding Nemo characters running their way up and down his arms. Someday he's going to come home with tattoos, and this will be the root cause.
Anna: Nora is far too dignified for the whole embarassing cognomen thing; I'm the only one bringing the tone down. :-)
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