Habemus Papam
I'm not Catholic, and the closest I've ever gotten to being Catholic was my high school boyfriend (shudder). But I must confess I'm fascinated by papal succession. Maybe it's the pomp. Maybe it's the fey, gin bottle Swiss Guard uniforms. Regardless, I couldn't take my eyes off the TV this morning during that whole wacky build up to the new guy's emergence onto that balcony. Crazy Catholics.And then . . . I had a little conversation with myself.
Irrational AnnaRay: Hey, what a shock, an old white guy who looks vaguely like Emperor Palpatine!
Rational AnnaRay: All old white guys look like Emperor Palpatine. Besides, what were you expecting? They're losing faithful in Europe. And besides, he's 78 and clearly a status quo seat filler.
Irrational AnnaRay: Not only is he an old white guy, he's also a Nazi!
Rational AnnaRay: He was born in 1927 in Germany. Every young German wound up in the Hitler Youth. Those were the times.
Irrational AnnaRay: He said Turkey shouldn't in the EU because they're mostly Muslims. He blamed the press for the pedophilic priest scandal. He don't like the gays.
Rational AnnaRay: Um . . . he's Catholic? And you're not? So why do you care? Besides the fact that Opus Dei controls the Supreme Court? Isn't this just a manifestation of your anger at not getting into Georgetown?
Irrational AnnaRay: I'm so over the Georgetown thing. And shut up. Nobody likes you, AnnaRay.
OK, disturbing internal monologues aside, I'm still into this pope thing. What could be cooler than getting to pick your pope name? We should all get to do that. At the least, it's a much better waste of time than figuring out your porn star name (Blondie Cascade, if you were wondering) or trying to decipher The Boy's developing language skills (Today's gem "tooofaaaalump." But of course, dear.).
I've narrowed mine down to these possibilities: Pope Lillith. Pope Hillary. Pope Teddy Roosevelt.
Anybody else got any ideas? And, uh, am I going to hell for this?
posted by AnnaRay at 9:04 PM
18 Comments:
I can't believe you know the name of the evil dark lord emperor in Star Wars.
I can't believe you can't believe that. How long have we been together?
I can't believe the both of us made the emperor palpatine reference. scratch that. yes i can.
About the porn star name.. I thought it was middle name first. That works best for me being that mine would then be Dick Cascade. I should become a pornstar for the name alone.
And yes, who greater to unify the Catholics of the world than a nazi who at one point, albeit in his indoctrinated youth, would have offed a large percentage of his followers. Truly this is a man of God.
i believe your porn star name is your childhood pet and the street you grew up on. clearly you're spending too much time working or something like that.
fran cascade just doesn't have the same ring.. especially considering the derivation.
i have officially thought too much about this subject.
I,too, am disappointed about the elction of a reactionary pope. At some point all of these old men are going to die off and leave the world to younger, more enlightened men. However, my first thought is that the two of you need to quit screwing around and get back to work. It is a work day.
Piper Sycamore. What does it mean if your porn star name sounds more like your soap star name? (Work day shmirk day. I don't have a job.)
I appreciate your optimism, Anon., but younger doesn't necessarily more enlightened. A few cases in point: Rick Santorum. Ralph Reed. The Young Republicans.
This is discussion is over because I have the best stripper name of all time: Muffin Friendly.
Thank you, and good night.
Sadly, Anon., by the time all the old men have died off (look at how durable some of them are), the young guys will have gotten old. And inflexible.
Sacheverall Beechwood? Sounds more like a fantasty novel character than a porn star...
How come the old guys are never inflexible liberals? And what kind of a pet is named Sacheverall?
"How come the old guys are never inflexible liberals?"
Um, Teddy Kennedy?
ok, name two.
I'd say Barney Frank, but you'd call that bogus, so . . .
Patrick Leahy? Eugene McCarthy only got more kooky-liberal as he aged.
Delurking here. (I'm only Anon 'cause I'm lazy. I'm a friend of Jan's and Nora's; actually, Jan's ex-wife if we're going to get all technical.) Just wanted to say that I and my partner (er, girlfriend) love your blog. And we're both with Judy on the moral qualms about zoos. (Partner used to work for the National Zoo's magazine here in DC.)
After enjoying your insights for several months, this thread was enough to make me step out of my dark corner because, though I'm amused and intrigued by the porn star thing, I'm handicapped in the name department. My childhood pets consisted of a short-lived cat named Keegah, a rabbit named Bun-Bun, and goldfish named Beanie, Pinkie, Soupie, Soupcan (unforgiveable repetition, but I was 5), and Dominoes. Seems as though Pinkie is the only porn star possibility in the bunch, but Pinkie North School Lane just doesn't have a ring to it.
I'm the most handicapped of all on the porn name front, since I grew up on 85th street. Now what am I supposed to do with that?!?
Nora: You sure that wasn't 69th?
Bad Annaray. Sorry.
Anon: Hi! I think Bun-Bun is a fantastic porn star name. Or a fantastic pope name. Either one.
Yes, Anna my dear, I am sure that I grew up on 85th Street. But your response made me realize that my dad lived on 69th Street after my parents split, and then I had to stop that train of thought that very instant because it was getting waaaayyy too creepy.
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