Fanaticism
Oh Good Grief, I never was any good at spellnig. And it's true that I never learned how to be a proper fan at college. We were all too busy studying foreign literature, discussing 19th century philosphy, exploring mathematical equations of the fourth dimension and uncovering revelations in cognitive science. Alas, what a wasted four years. It's good to know that at least you kids in state schools got a good education. Sure, I knew some seniors at Carolina who didn't know that you need a subject AND a verb to write a sentence, but they all knew the difference between an offensive foul and a defensive foul. I don't. Damn my Ivy League education! This is not to say that AnnaRay was one of those seniors, (though she does know all the different fouls and likes to call them out in a voice loud enough for the refs on t.v. to hear, just in case they weren't paying attention.) AnnaRay is one of the smartest people I know, (though she does expend a vast amount of her vast intellect on knowing things like who won the Heisman trophy in 1976 and career stats for pro golfers. Did I mention she watches golf?) Maybe one day AnnaRay will help me understand what it is to be a true fan. She's already trained me to sing the Carolina fight song on cue:
So it's Rah! Rah! Carolina-lina, Rah! Rah! Carolina-lina, Rah! Rah! Carol-ina, GO TO HELL DUKE!
But as far as the next kid is concerned: No way, AnnaRay, will his name tag say SeanMay.
posted by judybat at 9:43 PM
6 Comments:
Actually, the official -- are these things really ever official? -- ending to the fight song is "Go to Hell State!" But sometimes I like to sub in Dook. That's the kind of free-wheeling, fast-on-your-feet thinking they taught at my state school.
One more thing, in case that was a challenge or something. 1976, Heisman, Tony Dorsett.
If it's wrong for me to think that your knowing the 1976 Heisman trophy winner is a little bit sexy, then I don't want to be right.
At least she still roots for the Yankees.
And at least she doesn't have to debate the propriety of calling anyone from NC a Tar Heel. Especially during March Madness, "Tar Heel legislators," indeed. Sheesh.
Congratulations to my favorite Tar Heel fan.
-mjt, who went to Duke for grad school just to be a Cameron Crazy.
so, PS: Go to Hell, Carolina, go to Hell!
Me write a sports column? Sure, why not.
Herewith, a review of three athletic programs, two from schools that have given me diplomas, and one from a school which I gladly turned down twice.
MEN'S BASKETBALL
Brown: Undergrad basketball fans sometimes attend games. Men's coach named "Glenn Miller." Younger brother Jason Forte played there.
UNC: Basketball dynasty, once again. Men’s coach Roy Williams went to my hometown high school. Elder brother Joseph Forte played there. Wine and cheese crowd graduated from there.
Duke: Cameron Crazies. Cameron Indoor Stadium. Coach K and my parents used to go to the same church. Wojo and Bobby Hurley played there. (Then again, so did Christian Laettner.)
Edge --UNC for now. All because of Roy. That, and because Christian Laettner counts for like negative three thousand quality points.
FOOTBALL
Brown: thousands of people sometimes go to football games.
UNC: tens of thousands of fans go to football games.
Duke: bajillions of fans go to football games. Fans from the visiting schools, that is – looking for the sure win.
Edge --Brown, believe it or not, because it's the only school of the three (that I know of) whose football team was disqualified from championship eligibility for one year due to alleged recruiting violations. Additional points over Duke because the Duke stadium is named for a Brown alum.
FACILITIES
Brown: They had one attractive gym, and then they tore it down.
UNC: What in the f*** were they thinking building that sports warehouse behind the law school?
Duke: Cameron Indoor Stadium, Card Gym, Wallace Wade, Washington Duke golf course, etc., etc.
Edge -- Duke by at least a football field.
WOMEN'S SOCCER
Brown: Won like eight Ivy championships in a row, until the rest of the universe figured out that women's soccer was a great place to score Title IX numbers.
UNC: Mia Hamm, Carla Overbeck, Christine Lilly, etc. etc. etc.
Duke: Yeah, they're alright.
Edge -- Oh, please.
MARCHING BAND
Brown: Band also skates at hockey games. Puts out crude buttons for fans to wear at football games ("Crucify Them" for Holy Cross, "Dick the Lion Hearted" for Columbia, etc.)
UNC: Marching band is huuuuuge with something like 30 trumpet players (in two sections) whom you can get blasted by on the Wilson Library steps before home games.
Duke: No known band disctinctions.
Edge -- Brown. It's the band buttons. Clever narrowly beats out the amazing UNC brass section.
MASCOT
Brown: mascot is a friendly human in a friendly bear suit.
UNC: Real live ram (except when killed for meat)
Duke: dumbass human in a dumbass devil suit.
Edge -- UNC (at least since the ~50s, when Brown got rid of its live bear mascot.)
OVERALL
Brown: 34 varsity sports, with national champions in women's crew and men's crew (men's not NCAA-sanctioned).
UNC: 26 varsity sports, with national champions in men's basketball, women's soccer, and (I suspect) several others. It's possible that the women have a national championship in fencing from ~’83, I can't quite recall.
Duke: 20 varsity sports, with national champions in men's basketball, men's fencing (one individual epee champion), and who knows what else.
Edge -- not Brown. Though I should mention that Brown and Duke have both been to the Rose Bowl, while UNC has not.
I'm not going to get into the Duke-Carolina thing here. However, I need to make one point: Tar Heel is an acceptable reference for anyone from North Carolina. (Not from New Jersey, like most Duke students.) North Carolina is the Tar Heel State, and that has nothing to do with the state university. OK? OK. Just ask General Lee.
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